My Faith Is Not In Pledge Letters, But In A Faithful God!

In April we met with a family who had adopted and they gave us a helpful piece of advice for fundraising.  They said, other than praying, the very best thing we could do during the beginning stages of the adoption was to ask several close friends and family members to come along side us and help us fundraise.  They encouraged us to recruit 10 special individuals to reach out to their friend and family networks to raise money on our behalf (in the same way runners collect pledges for a race).  After almost two months of prayer, we composed a letter pouring out our hearts and asking for help.  I put the pledge letters in the mailbox, I lifted up the little red flag, I walked back inside the house and then...I sat down at the kitchen table and cried.  This wasn't a sad cry or an anxious cry, it was more of a hopeful cry.  I cried because I could not be confident that God was going to use this particular method to bring the money we needed to proceed, but I was confident that I could trust Him!

What's crazy is that 30 minutes later when the mailman picked up the pledge letters, Satan was already beginning his attack.  Did I put enough postage on the letters?  What if no one wants to help by asking people they know?  Are we just being a burden to our family and friends?  What if we send in the application and then we don't have the money to continue? All the fears and doubts began flooding in.  This was my very first moment of anxiousness in our adoption process. 

But God, in his kindness, kept me from despair. Truth. That's what I have to tell myself.  That's how I can fight fear, doubt, and anxiousness.  So, I asked myself, "What do I know to be TRUE right now, in this very moment?"  I was able to speak the gospel to myself and was reminded not only of God's faithfulness but also was able to reflect on how richly blessed I am already. 

Unfortunately, we didn't hear back from a single person.  After a week or so, we began trying to follow up with these individuals.  We discovered that several of them actually had no interest in helping out for one reason or another.  Some didn't have the time.  Some told us that they think adoption is a great thing (but not for us because we already have children).  Some, we haven't been able to touch base with since we sent out the letters.  This is when it hit me...This is going to be even harder than I had imagined.  I am going to have to completely rely on the Lord during this process.  Not even for a second will I be able to put my hope in others (or myself for that matter).  I have to completely surrender my plans, my will, and my ways.  I have also realized that this is going to be a daily battle.  I am going to have to be on guard and fully armed against Satan's schemes every minute of every day. And, although I know that this is going to be so hard, I am so thankful for this opportunity to grow my faith.

Since then, we had two individuals let us know they were willing to help.  What an encouragement!  We were beyond thrilled!  Even if they are unable to even raise a penny to help us in our adoption, the love we felt from these individuals (because they were simply willing to try) was enough to make this momma's heart leap from her chest!  We are SO grateful!

In addition, I recently was able to finish making our prayer cards, address those, and send some out so others could join in by praying for us.  For those of you reading this, we thank you for being part of our journey and I hope you too can be encouraged by reflecting on how faithful our Father is!