Thankful List ~ June 2014

June 2014 Thankful List

*  This month I am most I am most thankful for God’s comfort and peace. Our due date for our baby was June 9th and the Lord was more gracious to us than you can even begin to imagine. We are continually amazed at how the Lord works to show is majesty and power.

* Anyone who knows us well, knows what a cuddle-bug Josiah is. This month instead of just showering us with hugs and kisses he also started coming up to me and out of nowhere saying, “I wuv you Mommy.” Every single time it melts my heart. The great thing is he does it on average about 5-10 times a day. Sigh

*  I’m thankful for Raleigh. It is an absolutely wonderful city to live in. There are always events and activities available for the kids and I.

*  I finally got a haircut! I had been waiting to grow it out so that I could sell it for adoption money however, the people who contacted me seemed a little creepy (wanting extra pictures with my neckline and bare back) or they seemed like they were trying to scam me (wanting my bank account). Either way, it just didn’t seem worth it to me so I just got it cut!

*  Our family took a day trip to the beach and the kids had such a great time. Josiah especially loved running in the little puddles across the sandbar. 

*  As I’ve mentioned numerous times, I’m thankful for my amazing husband. Josh is such a phenomenal man of God, leader of our family, provider and protector and husband. This month we got to celebrate him as also being a wonderful Father. For Father’s Day we took him out to eat and got some ice cream (his favorite)!

*  Josiah is a funny kid. Recently he has started a few new things that have merited a few new nicknames. First, since he has been done with potty training he has been walking around saying, “I Big Boy.” We think it’s really cute and on occasion actually call him “BigBoy.” He also has started putting his hands in his pockets while just standing or walking around. He looks like a little man so sometime I call him “Pockets” and he giggles. We’ve also started calling him “Rocket” anytime he is holding a ball because he’s started throwing them so hard. Finally, with us being in the sun a little more a few very small freckles have popped up on his cheeks. Josh and I started calling him “Freckles” and every single time he responds with a really big smile saying “I not Frechels.” However, if I ask “Who’s my little Freckles?” he’ll respond, “I am.” LOVE HIM!

*  This month we had the pleasure of having some friends over who had moved away a few years ago. Two different families (one from Tennessee and one from Texas) came to Raleigh to visit. Although we only got to spend one evening with them, it was so refreshing and we had a great time.

*  As I’ve mentioned before we have decided to start Addilyn in Classical Conversations in the fall. This month I was able to attend a Practicum and learn all about the Classical model as well as meet lots of other moms who homeschool. The community we will be a part of also had a Moms Night Out and I am now beyond excited about our new adventure. I think this next year will be great!

*  Although this may sound silly I am also very thankful for the blessings of brokenness. Over the past few months the Lord has provided me with many opportunities to serve those who can’t serve themselves. We’ve had quite a few visitors to our church small group who are in need of help. I am so thankful for the book our small group is reading and the pastor who visited our church who preached on the exact thing the Lord has been teaching me. In addition, for years I’ve thought about churches across our nation that do not have solid teaching, discipleship, and other components that I feel will help the church be effective with the gospel. Recently though, God has taken that sadness and transformed it to a deep desire to see change. Through a heart of brokenness the Lord has helped me to be faithful to pray continually for churches across America. Specifically, I pray that they will turn to the word of God as authority and Truth will be preached so hearts will be transformed!

Empty Arms Reflections

Well, today is June 9^th.   This is the day I had looked forward to so I could hold our baby.  After the miscarriage, this became the day I dreaded.  Of course we all know due dates are not 100% accurate, but after losing your baby you think about that date often.  It’s strange.  You are both ready for closure and not wanting another moment to pass for fear of forgetting.  You can’t help but to daydream about the what-could-have-beens.

Over the past few months I’ve been tremendously aware of other women around me who are pregnant, especially those who were due within a week or so before or after me.  I’ve noticed their beautiful growing bellies and gradual waddles. I’ve turned and walked away from those complaining of sleepless nights and rejoiced with the women who already see what a blessing their little one is even within their womb.  God has given me great comfort over the past month when others gave birth and shared picture after picture of their new bundle of joy.  God has kept my heart from bitterness and self-pity as I see older siblings loving on their new brothers or sisters. I have been genuinely happy for them.  But this doesn’t mean that I have stopped longing for my own.

Specifically over the past few weeks I’ve been thankful for great times of prayer where I’ve cried out to God to be my complete satisfaction, for me to love Him more than anything of this world, not to let me slip into the spiral of self-pity. I’ve prayed aloud a lot and I’ve even been surprised at some of the things that the Holy Spirit led me to pray.  He has helped me to remember that the kids I have are still not MY kids.  They belong to God.  My husband belongs to Him.  Everything we have belongs to HIM.  We are merely stewards of his gifts and called to care and love for others in His name.  The baby he had given us was never mine.  He never “took it away from me.”  It was HIS all along. 

God was gracious to give me a good perspective on Mother’s day this year.  I wrote a letter to Addilyn and Josiah instead of getting wrapped up in what our culture deems Mother’s Day should be about.  Here is a short excerpt with a few things that God was helping me to see rightly.

“This day is not about me! Mother’s day should be about our great God who is the author of life and who has allowed me the honor of being a mom. If it were not for the work of the Lord in my life I would be a horrible wife and mother. As you well know, Mommy has a hard time being patient and sometimes I even get angry with you. Mommy does not always say or do the right thing and many times I’m sure I set a bad example by being lazy or self-centered. However, let me tell you about Jesus. He knew that God the Father could not be in the presence of Mommy’s yucky sin but he loved me so much that he was willing to die a horrible death to make things right between Mommy and God. The only way to make things right was for Jesus to sacrifice himself on the cross. He did that because he loved ME! He loves you too and His death on the cross is your remedy for sin as well. The good news is that Jesus didn’t stay dead. He defeated Satan and death when he rose again and ascended to Heaven. When you believe this is true and choose to live your life in honor of Jesus, he sends the Holy Spirit into your heart to help you. The Holy Spirit is helping me to fight my impatience, anger, selfishness, and laziness. I’m telling you this because this is more important than ANYTHING else I can ever do for you as your mother. The gospel is the ONLY thing that will impact you for all of eternity. I can teach you how to be responsible, respectful, intelligent, beautiful, or friendly, but these qualities mean nothing compared to knowing God. I love you more than you’ll ever be able to fathom so I hope and pray that if you learn anything from me it will be how to trust the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and how to love others greater than yourself by the grace of our Holy God.

Mother’s Day should help us remember that mom’s everywhere are shown immeasurable grace by being able to care for their children, tend to their home, prepare meals, and more. But, it’s all done by grace so we should be thankful instead of entitled.

This should be a day of thankfulness. I’m thankful for my mom, my grandmothers, and even my great-grandmother who are all still living and have influenced me in powerful ways. I’m thankful that I struggled with infertility so I can sympathize with the pain of many who are struggling to fight for joy today. I am thankful to know that our little Taylor, whom I’ll never hold because of miscarriage, is at peace with the Lord. And, again, I’m thankful for the absolute honor to be your Mommy.”

And today, on our little’s ones due date, God is continuing to comfort me.   I woke up today with a glad heart.  My husband served me well by letting me sleep a little later and then gave me time out of the house to process through things alone.  I have already received a couple text messages from friends with encouraging comments and scriptures.  One dear friend brought me a beautiful rose bush to plant in honor of Taylor.  Another friend sent me a Starbuck gift card.  And although these things have had such a tremendous impact on me to know that others care; God himself has showed me his immeasurable love through his Word and through his miraculous power.  He has comforted me in a way that that seems almost impossible, too good to be true.  He has shown me once again how much He loves me and how much I can truly trust Him.  He is sovereign and He alone has the power to give and take away.  The Holy Spirit directed me to 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 today and I pray that it will continue to ring in my ears today and everyday in the future.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.

So, although my arms are empty and there is no new baby to hold, my heart is full.  Take a moment to pray today for other moms who have lost little ones and pray that God will be as gracious to them as he has been be me.

Thankful List ~ May 2014

May 2014 Thankful List

*  This month we decided to bite the bullet and spend money getting the van serviced.  We took care of the timing belt, water pump, spark plugs, motor mount, and other stuff like an oil change.  Although it was VERY costly I am thankful to know that our vehicle is in great condition and should not have issues any time soon.

*  Some slightly older ladies in our church initiated a series of meetings called EKG- Heart Checks.  This is a once a month meeting for older women to help younger women in the church evaluate their hearts in light of the commands in Titus 2.  I am beyond thrilled about this opportunity and was overjoyed to be able to participate in the very first meeting.

*  Our small group took a retreat to a house in Virginia (provided for free from one of the families).  It was WONDERFUL!  We studied the topic of contentment together.  We searched the scriptures, read articles and poems, we prayed, and we listed to a sermon to help us think rightly.  We also had lots of free time to fellowship with one another.  We played Fris-cup (a great tailgating game invented by one of the guys in our group), we went kayaking and hiking, played games, we roasted marshmallows over a fire, and one evening we even distinguished constellations (a rare treat for us city-folk).

*  Of course the retreat would not have been relaxing or productive had the kids been with us.  This month we participated in a weekend kid swap with some friends.  They kept our two kids while we were on the retreat and we kept their three kids later in the month for their anniversary.  Our kids played great together.  Other than very minor issues it was great for everyone.  We are definitely going to be doing it again soon!

*  We took the kids in for well-check appointments at the end of April and our pediatrician discovered a heart murmur in both Addilyn and Josiah.  God gave me peace.  In fact, I’m pretty sure I even forgot to bring it up with my small group girls who I tell everything to.  At the beginning of this month we went to a pediatric cardiologist a couple of times for different tests and we were told that it is a very minor murmur and they should grow out of it.  They said that we don’t have to make any lifestyle changes, but to monitor them a little more closely when they are sick or running a fever.

My little "robot."

*  This month Addi got stung by a bee TWICE and although this may not seem like something to be thankful for, it is because now I know she is not allergic!  When a bee stings me I swell up really bad so it was good to be with her to monitor her closely when it happened.

*  We started reading a book as a small group call Total Church by Steve Timmis.  It has been so good.  I have really enjoyed the perspective it discusses and it has been encouraging to see that many of the concepts it presents we have been striving for already.

*  I had a great time of fellowship with a friend from church this month.   We spent a couple hours washing her patio windows and just talking about life.  It was such a sweet nourishing time and I’m thankful my husband lets me get out and have ladies time every so often.

*  We made a decision that Josh and I will be celebrating our 10^th Anniversary by visiting Denver Colorado.  Friend offering her home so we have a free place to stay. 

I had a sweet Mothers Day with the kids.  Josh had to work but I enjoyed time with the kids and I was thankful that God showed me grace to have a good perspective and not have a pity party in light of the miscarriage.

*  I am VERY thankful that my little Josiah-man is now potty trained!!!  Potty training is my least favorite part of parenting (well, up until this point we don’t have middle-schoolers yet).  However, God showed us lots of grace.  He rarely has accidents now and I am just so thankful for how quickly he picked up on everything.

*  Josh met with one of our Pastors and was able to gain a lot of clarity about potential future options.  We are praying through these options and are hoping God will give us great wisdom and discernment as we have some big decisions to make.

*  I’m thankful for the TCC Women’s event Grace Filled Expressions.     I went to a session on canning and since then I’ve made quite a few jars of strawberry and blackberry jam.  The kids and I went strawberry picking and we also found a black berry bush in our neighborhood so we have had a lot of fun with learning new things.

*  I had a wonderful date night with one of my closest girlfriends.  We ate at newer downtown restaurant, walked around the city, and just had some great conversation.  It was wonderful!

*  As usual I’m also very thankful for my funny kiddos.  Here are just a few things that happened that are worth sharing.

*  Josiah rode his horsey through the grocery store one morning and yelled, “Giddy up” and “whoa” the entire time.  He even stopped and asked strangers, “You wanna pet my horsey?”

*  Josiah got very creative in waking us up in the mornings.  One day he came in saying, “cock-a-doodle-doo.”  A few days later he crawled in bed with us and just started kissing my face over and over and over again.  One morning he decided to tickle me.  The next day he came in with his blanket over his head and just stood beside the bed saying, “I hiding.”  The most recent and the one that made me laugh the most was when he crawled on top of me and whispered in a sing-songy voice, “Do you want to build a snowman?”  Oh, my word- this kid is hysterical but needless to say we’ve started locking our door.

*  We went back to the rose garden a few times.  I captured this sweet picture.  I could not believe how grown up Addi looked with her legs crossed.  It just blew my mind.

*  One night after dinner we let the kids have ice cream cones for dessert.  After 4-5 minutes Josiah looks at me with the most serious face and says, “Mommy, I wuv ice keam.”

*  Addilyn is my little planner.  One morning she woke up and said “Daddy, what are we going to do today?  What you think.”  When he did not immediately give her the schedule of day she turned and asked me, “Well, Mommy, what you figure?”

*  Addi also picked me a yellow dandelion and put it in a vase with water.  Funny enough, it re-bloomed for 5 days!  Each night it closed up and looked dead, but every morning it would be open, bright, and yellow again.  So fun!

Thankful List ~ April 2014

April Thankful List

*  Thankful for warm weather and spring flowers.  We were able to play outside a lot this month.  In addition to re-mulching our flowerbeds, we built a patio, and my kids continually picked their momma flowers (always so sweet).  We also were able to start visiting some of our favorite parks again.  Josiah has changed so much since last fall and is such a champ on the playgrounds.
*  We had a family night out for Raleigh’s First Fridays.  The kids stayed up way to late but we had a blast walking downtown, watching entertainers, eating at a Mexican restaurant and then grabbing a doughnut at Krispy Kreme.
*  We are thankful for Ben and Jerry’s free ice cream cone day!
NCSU had their annual Farm Days this month and yet again I’m thankful for opportunities in Raleigh for experiential learning.  My kids love “field trips.”  We were also able to go to a “What is Spring?” class at a local community center.  The kids had story time, they made a craft and they planted seeds.  Awesome!

*  Josiah started pretending with action figures this month.  He loves his Woody and Buzz Lightyear.  He played with them for over an hour in his room one day.  In addition, my Aunt April gave him a set of Pixar Planes action figures.  he has played with them more than I can begin to describe and I’m pretty sure they have flown and landed around every inch of our house.
*  I’m thankful for Pinterest and all the great ideas that I was able to get from it for both Easter and Addilyn’s birthday party, not to mention new healthy recipes since I was bored with our usual menu.
*  I’m thankful for our church, Treasuring Christ Church, who is not just another building in the city, but a body of believers trying to impact a community for God’s glory.  This month we had a service day, an Easter Festival, and a BBQ and Baptism fellowship.
*  I’m thankful for our risen Savior Jesus Christ.  We had the joy of celebrating Easter this month and I LOVED reflecting about the death and resurrection with my kids, husband, and bible study girls.  Our church does a phenomenal job with its Maundy Thursday service.  It’s my favorite event we do all year and, as expected, it was amazing.
*  The YMCA yet again makes it on my list of things I’m thankful for.  This month they had an Easter festival with food, crafts, an egg hunt, and bounce houses.  My kids had a blast and it was completely free!
*  Addilyn’s fourth birthday was this month.  I can’t even believe it. We are SO very thankful for our precious daughter.  She is intelligent, independent, tenderhearted, and beautiful. I pray the Lord will capture her heart and she will continue to grow in grace for many, many years to come. We celebrated with a Princess Party. She looked amazing in her new dress, shoes, gloves, and crown. Although it rained, I think everyone had a fabulous time.  I’m thankful I was able to make a castle cake that Addi was so excited about!

*  I’m thankful for cardboard boxes. We made a castle from tape and cardboard boxes.  The kids played in it for almost a week.  They imagined it as a castle, a fort, a house, a circus, a jungle, and even used it as a tent for camping.  They also got creative and colored it and decorated it with stickers.  Hours of free fun this month!
*  I’m thankful that the Lord has finally directed us to choose Classical Conversations as the best option for preschool for Addilyn.  We think we have found a good fit and I’m excited to learn and grow alongside my kids in this new adventure.

Thankful List ~ March 2014

Thankful List ~ March 2014

Yet again another month has gone by and the things we are thankful for continues to grow.  Here are just a few highlights from the month of March that remind us to always be thankful.

*  I was able to begin a bible study with some women in our small group. I have had some really rich times in the Word as I’ve prepared to teach on some basic principles of Christianity. So far, we have covered importance of scripture, the trinity, creation, the fall, and a few other foundational elements of the Christian faith. The girls in my small group who have attended have been faithful to study the Word and contribute to conversation. If I had to choose one thing to do for the rest of my life, it would be teaching and meditating on the Word of God with other women. It’s so rewarding!
*  I am thankful for swim lessons! I’m not a naturally strong swimmer and I didn’t have the faintest clue how to begin teaching my kids to swim. We used some left over Christmas money from our family to enroll the kids in swim lessons. It has been such a joy to see the kids confidence growing while they splash around in the water. Addi loves to make sure we are watching her, she listens well to her teacher, and has a great time watching and encouraging her brother during his class. She still needs to grow in jumping off the side of the pool and blowing bubbles (putting her face in the water) but I’m so proud of how far she came in a few short weeks. Josiah is, of course, my little crazy man. From day one, he was jumping and splashing with immeasurable excitement. The best part was learning the tricks of the trade so I can teach the kids myself. We’ve been back to the pool already and plan to go a lot more before this summer.

*  At the beginning of the month a friend told me Kohls was having a huge sale. I got Josiah 11 long-sleeved T-shirts, one short sleeve T-shirt, and a hoodie. I also got Addi two pairs of pajamas, 3 sweaters, a long sleeve t-shirt and 5 pairs of pants. Every bit of this can fit them now but will certainly fit them next fall and winter! I was thrilled because I only spent $70 (and technically saved over $365).
*  I’m so thankful for my kids starting to use their imaginations. Everyday it’s something new. It doesn’t matter if they are outside, inside, or riding in the car, nothing is as it seems. One day we were having a completely calm lunch and then...

Addi: Guess what animal this is mommy? (While holding up a piece of food that has been shaped into something interesting from her taking a few bites of it)
Me: Hmmm, I don't know. A sheep?
Addi: No silly. It's a fluffy-doodle.
Me: Oh, wow. I love fluffy-doodles. (By the way, what in the world is a fluffy doodles?)
Addi: (Very sad-almost in tears) Mommy, you can't like fluffy-doodles. They are so mean.
Me: Oh.
Josiah: It okay. Spaceship save you... (While making his piece of food clearly blast off the table- complete with sound effects- and then knocking Addi's food out of her hand on to the floor).
Addi: Horray! Big Boy saves the day! Good job Buddy Bear!
Then instantly everyone went back to calmly eating as if nothing had ever happened.

*  Josh and I had needed time to talk about some topics for awhile and just had not had the time. This month we took a mini marriage retreat. No, we didn’t go anywhere special but we didn't need to.  We had intentional time after we put the kids to bed on Friday night, went to the YMCA on saturday morning and put the kids in nursery for more discussion.  Then, after spending some quality time with the kids, we had a great afternoon chat during their nap time. We hired a babysitter so we could continue our conversations over dinner and enjoyed one final conversation during the kids’ nap time on Sunday. We covered topics such as our personal spiritual walks, communication, finances, intimacy, ministry, children’s needs and discipline, and other fun things. It was such a refreshing and rewarding time for both of us! I would encourage every couple to make time for this at least once a year if not more often.
*  This month we sold our old living room furniture and got a newer set really cheap! We are so happy with our craigslist find!
*  I LOVE daylight savings time. Our kids, who were in the habit of waking up at 6:00, are now back to waking up closer to 7:00! Hooray!
*  Some friends of ours, Karen and Gray, invited us to their house for dinner- one night. Anyone who has young children knows what a special treat this is. Once you have a few kids, you learn that not many invitations come your way, especially from those who don’t have kids. We were really thankful for this couple taking time to show us love.
*  The kids and I made bird feeders with pinecones, peanut butter and birdseed. Within 24 hours the pinecones were bare. We have thoroughly enjoyed bird-watching this month and have re-seeded our pinecones at least 4 times.

*  One day we went with our preschool friends to the NC History Museum and had a lesson on flying. We learned that you need more lift than weight and more thrust than drag to make something fly. We learned about birds, balloons, blimps, and then read the story of Orville and Wilbur Wright and their first flight in an airplane. Next we made fun little kites and tested them outside. After a good nap we went back outside and flew our kites all afternoon. I pulled out our big kite and got it stuck on a neighbors roof (whoops).  It was a wonderful day!

*  I’m so thankful for warm days in the midst of the cold days. North Carolina weather has been so weird. One afternoon we pulled out the grill and cooked out with friends. I’m pretty sure the kids and I spent about 6 hours playing outside that day, if not more.

*  I have also been thankful for other moms who make time to hang out and have adult conversations. Specifically this month, my friend Melanie came to visit, Betsy had me over for tea, Kari had me over for a great theological discussion, Amanda invited me over and we got to catch up on life in general. I’m so thankful for these moms who can relate to a busy life but see the importance of friendship. Of course, I’m also thankful for my not-yet-mommy friends who also make time for me.
*  I’m so thankful for opportunities to use my giftings at church. One of our pastors invited me to help plan part of our Easter Festival. I’m beyond thrilled and can’t wait. It’s going to be so much fun and I hope the Lord uses it to reach many in our community. In addition, I was asked to help coordinate the women’s ministry event for May. Anyone who knows me can testify how much I absolutely LOVE coordinating events and organizing activities.
* This month our small group had an adult’s night out where we all went out to play putt-putt, and then ate dinner together. It was wonderful. We even had some of our former members who had moved away drive back just to hang out with us. We all had a great time and I’m so thankful for our small group!
*  I’m thankful for our Mac products and the apple care program. This month both of our phones and our computer had minor problems that were easily fixed at the Apple store at no cost to us.
*  A friend made some wonderful strawberry jam and shared a jar with us. A few days later I was so inspired I packed up the kids and took them to the farmers market where be bought a ton of strawberries. A few hours later we have 13 jars of delicious jam stored in our fridge.
*  I’m thankful for the new Twilight Thursdays at the Kids Museum in our area. Now, I can take the kids for a fun inexpensive outing. We went the first week they offered the discounted rate and Addilyn and Josiah had a blast. I’m excited to go more frequently and let them get all their energy out!

*  Last but not least, the kids and I made spontaneous quick trip to Georgia to visit family! We didn’t get to see everyone we would have liked to see, but we did get to spend some time with many we love. We were thankful for my Aunt and Uncle who hosted us and for the opportunity for Addilyn and Josiah to see relatives they typically only see once a year.



·