A Little Sister

Today was a big day.  We sent off our application to CCAI! 

Well, to be honest, I actually thought it got sent off a month ago.  Ha! Ha!  That’s what happens in those crazy seasons of life when you and your husband are like ships passing in the night.  I am thankful for the opportunities Josh and I have had over the past month to work, volunteer, and participate in different functions, activities, and events, but I am also thankful that our schedules are beginning to open up a little more and we have time to talk about important life things (like if certain adoption paper work  has been mailed or not). 

Last night, as Josh was putting the application in a large envelope, Addi came in the room and asked, “Daddy, what is that?”  Up until this point we had not mentioned the adoption to either of the kids because we didn’t think they could really understand how long we are going to have to wait before bringing home another little one.  However, in response to her question we casually answered, “It’s a letter asking for you to have a little sister one day.”  With that, she turned around and ran off to go play.  Josh and I looked at one another, smiled, and just assumed that was that.

I should have known better.

You see, Addilyn doesn’t forget a thing.  Sometimes she processes things for awhile and will bring it up in conversation at the most random times.  Today, she made it evident that she had not only heard what we said, but had been processing it, and was VERY excited.

She woke up early and was playing quite contently in her playroom.  As I walked out of my bedroom she looked up at me with her big bright eyes, and her bushy morning hair with little ringlets falling in front of her eyes.  She smiled excitedly and said, “Good morning Mommy!  Today we are going to get my little sister?” 

My heart melted.

“Awe hun, it’s going to be a long, long, long time before we can get your little sister.”

“Well….I know….We can go to the hospital.  They have babies.”

“You’re right, hun.  Hospitals do have lots of babies.  However, we can’t get your little sister yet.  We have to wait and be patient.  Your little sister will come from China which is a long way away.”

Later, when we went to the post office, Addi insisted on holding the envelope addressed to our agency.  Here is an 11 second video of a conversation we had while waiting in line to buy the stamps.

If that wasn’t enough, tonight at bedtime, Addilyn’s prayer was “Thank you God for my little sister.  I want her one day.”

I’m sure you can imagine the tears of joy that were streaming down my face!

God is so gracious to give us two amazing children and to lead us down a path where we can love an orphan, make her our own, and train up all of our children to know Jesus.  God, I pray that you will save my children, all three of them!

Clothes, Clothes, Clothes

I spent hours upon hours sorting through children's clothes left over from our yard sale and also going through our attic weeding out any children's items we could do without.  Over the course of the month I was able to make a little bit at Once Upon A Child (a kids consignment store that pays you up front) and then began tagging items for the Raleigh Kids Exchange.  Once I had everything priced I could sort them into boys/ girls piles and then sort them by size.  The sale went on for four days and there were estimated over 30,000 shoppers each day.  When I went to pick up the items that didn't sell, there was only about a fourth of what I took that was left!  I hope to get a check in a few weeks and deposit it right away into our adoption account!  Here are a few pictures from my fun this month!

Piles of sorted clothes.

Girl's clothes still to be sorted.

Boy's clothes still to be sorted.

No Longer A Stranger

Last week we met with a lady who had adopted two little girls from China within 18 months of one another.  One was a healthy child and the other was special needs.  It's been 8 1/2 years and she shared with us about her journey.  Josh and I were so inspired and encouraged by her honesty about the joys and difficulties of adoption.  She told us about the emotional trauma her girls suffered and still impacts them to this day (even though they were both under the age of 2 when they were adopted).  She told us about how her biological children have responded with nothing but love.  She told us books to read and conferences that she enjoyed.  She gave us tips, advice, but also committed to pray for us.  Adoption is already transforming our lives in so many ways.  I love how this lady is no longer a stranger but a friend and all because God had synced our hearts to both love orphans.

My Faith Is Not In Pledge Letters, But In A Faithful God!

In April we met with a family who had adopted and they gave us a helpful piece of advice for fundraising.  They said, other than praying, the very best thing we could do during the beginning stages of the adoption was to ask several close friends and family members to come along side us and help us fundraise.  They encouraged us to recruit 10 special individuals to reach out to their friend and family networks to raise money on our behalf (in the same way runners collect pledges for a race).  After almost two months of prayer, we composed a letter pouring out our hearts and asking for help.  I put the pledge letters in the mailbox, I lifted up the little red flag, I walked back inside the house and then...I sat down at the kitchen table and cried.  This wasn't a sad cry or an anxious cry, it was more of a hopeful cry.  I cried because I could not be confident that God was going to use this particular method to bring the money we needed to proceed, but I was confident that I could trust Him!

What's crazy is that 30 minutes later when the mailman picked up the pledge letters, Satan was already beginning his attack.  Did I put enough postage on the letters?  What if no one wants to help by asking people they know?  Are we just being a burden to our family and friends?  What if we send in the application and then we don't have the money to continue? All the fears and doubts began flooding in.  This was my very first moment of anxiousness in our adoption process. 

But God, in his kindness, kept me from despair. Truth. That's what I have to tell myself.  That's how I can fight fear, doubt, and anxiousness.  So, I asked myself, "What do I know to be TRUE right now, in this very moment?"  I was able to speak the gospel to myself and was reminded not only of God's faithfulness but also was able to reflect on how richly blessed I am already. 

Unfortunately, we didn't hear back from a single person.  After a week or so, we began trying to follow up with these individuals.  We discovered that several of them actually had no interest in helping out for one reason or another.  Some didn't have the time.  Some told us that they think adoption is a great thing (but not for us because we already have children).  Some, we haven't been able to touch base with since we sent out the letters.  This is when it hit me...This is going to be even harder than I had imagined.  I am going to have to completely rely on the Lord during this process.  Not even for a second will I be able to put my hope in others (or myself for that matter).  I have to completely surrender my plans, my will, and my ways.  I have also realized that this is going to be a daily battle.  I am going to have to be on guard and fully armed against Satan's schemes every minute of every day. And, although I know that this is going to be so hard, I am so thankful for this opportunity to grow my faith.

Since then, we had two individuals let us know they were willing to help.  What an encouragement!  We were beyond thrilled!  Even if they are unable to even raise a penny to help us in our adoption, the love we felt from these individuals (because they were simply willing to try) was enough to make this momma's heart leap from her chest!  We are SO grateful!

In addition, I recently was able to finish making our prayer cards, address those, and send some out so others could join in by praying for us.  For those of you reading this, we thank you for being part of our journey and I hope you too can be encouraged by reflecting on how faithful our Father is!

How Can You Put a Price Tag On A Child?

Many people do not realize how very expensive adoption can be. In most cases, when you tell people how expensive it is they rant and rave about how adoption should be free. I disagree.

I think the adoption process, as long and arduous as it is, has a purpose to genuinely protect the child and to ensure they are going to a family who will love them, care for them, and sacrifice what ever it takes to provide for them.

It's true, you CAN NOT put a price tag on a child. One thing you must realize is that as adoptive parents we are NOT buying a child. We are paying for the process to get the child legally! The process costs money in fees to our government, fees to the government of the country we are adopting from, and fees to the agency helping us to dot all the i's and cross all the t's.

Think about it this way, if adoption wasn't so expensive then many individuals who should NOT have children in their care would obtain them more easily. According to U.S. Today, the U.S. Department of Justice has confirmed that human trafficking has become the second fastest growing criminal industry -just behind drug trafficking- with children accounting for roughly half of all victims. Of the 2,515 cases under investigation in the U.S. in 2010, more than 1,000 involved children. Can you imagine if the adoption process was free how many more children would be taken advantage of!  No, I am thankful that adoption is not free!

Yes, for a family who is definitely not rolling in the dough, this is going to be difficult. Trying to raise money is humbling, very humbling.  But I KNOW it will be worth it.  And one day, my little girl will be confident of how much we love her because of how much we fought to do what was best and that we were willing to pay every penny for the process to be done right!  She will also look back at all of you who were willing to make sacrifices and help us raise money so we could bring her home as quickly as possible.  So, this is my plea, if you have not wanted to contribute financially because you think it's wrong to "pay for a child" then please reconsider and donate to our adoption today!

In addition, for those of you who do not understand the in's and out's of adoption cost;  please keep reading to see a list of typical fees associated with an adoption from China. These are just estimates.  Many agencies can charge more or less than the listed amounts but this seems to be the average. In addition, if you are adopting domestically or even from another country this will look very different. But, for those of you who have never understood why adoption is so expensive I hope this helps.